TRUST ISSUES: Reasons, Signs and How to Trust Again

Having to trust an individual is not any joke. Trust is a fundamental part of life and it isn't given to only anyone. This is often having confidence in a person and choosing to be vulnerable.

For a few people, trusting is straightforward and not an enormous deal; once you're on the brink of them, they believe you. On the opposite hand, some folks don't trust. They find it hard to be confident in anyone including life partners. These type of individuals have Trust Issues.

Most times, Trust Issues show up as a defence mechanism. You're hurt from a past relationship or an experience and it comes naturally to not trust people any longer. This is okay and normal, it is nothing physically wrong. This issue however can get so bad that it affects your intimate, social and even personal life in a way that you don't know.

This post assumes you discover yourself in this condition and searching to understand more about it. Read on to find out about the explanations (reasons) you've got trust issues, the signs of trust issues and the way you'll recover, so you can trust again.

Having said that, let's dive right in:

Four reasons you've got trust issues:

1) Social dismissal as a child or teenager:

This is an uncommon cause. When a child feels friendless, he or she develops a high sense of independence and builds a wall around him or her. This child even as an adult hardly sees anyone as trustworthy because they are used to being treated badly. Some youngsters are bullied or treated as outsiders by their peers. This could impact afterward relationships.

2) A Broken Home:

Experiencing their parents' divorce is one of the worst things that can happen to a child. If you've been in this situation, I can bet you understand what I mean. Not only does it make the child feel insecure, but it also inhibits the development of the child's trust.

3) Disloyalty in an ex-partner.

4) Past Traumatic Experiences like Accident, Rape, etc.

Signs You've got Trust Issues:

I know a lover who thought she was okay when most of her relationships were breaking. The signs became a part of her that she couldn't pinpoint the issues. This could be you. You would possibly have no idea you mistrust people.  Don't be concerned, I've got you on this one. 

These signs scream TRUST ISSUES and you ought to be careful for them:

1) You dread emotional commitment: 

You are in this bubbly and happy relationship with this spectacular guy or girl. The moment you notice things are getting serious and intimate, you withdraw because you think you will lose them. In your head are thoughts like 'Why will I hold on to something I'll lose?'. Most times, you want to enjoy the moment and not define the relationship.

2) You assume and expect Betrayal:

People who have trust issues have been hurt in the past. Many times you look forward to it so that when it eventually happens, they saw it coming”. This is often used as a defence mechanism but can be disadvantageous in many ways.

3) Being overly secretive about yourself:

Having trust issues and being “fake” go hand in hand. You feel no one would accept you for who you are and you keep them from knowing salient things about you. 

4) You have shallow relationships. In other words, you have no true friend or friends.

5) True mistakes are often seen as terrible violations of trust:

People are flawed, everyone knows. But as a person who got trust issues, you don't tolerate others' mistakes through the influence of trust issues.

Finally!

You made it to the very end! Now its time to change for the better. Trust Issues can break relationships and lead to depression and it is wise to identify these flaws in you. But at the same time, do not judge yourself. Let's talk about building trust again:

You have been hurt in the past and now its time to let go. You have to identify the inner critics in you that fuel mistrust and eliminate them. 

Communicate. See a therapist and have them go through emotional adventures with you.

It will be worth it in the end.

Image credit: Shuttershock

Anakor Vanessa M. A Nigerian enthusiastic writer of human interactions and fiction stories. She looks towards securing a challenging role in the writing company, to bring fresh value and vision to the business. She is aspiring to be an author and scriptwriter soon.