The Charisma Report

       "We fell in love!" It sounds so sweet and alluring. They say it's the sweetest thing that can ever happen to a man or a woman. Alright friend, snap back to reality as we discuss love, obsessions and expectations, placing them in categories, so that you would understand better. After this, I don't think we would have too many questions. So, shall we disagree to agree?          Many people complain bitterly about their partners when they have conversations with their friends. They are like, "how can a man claim he loves you and still sleep with your best friend, while he is literally married to you? I mean, I have been married to Billy for seven years now and he is suddenly not attracted to me anymore. Where did I go wrong?" Someone once said this to me, "Jay, I'm really trying to keep it together. Bisola and I were engaged, hoping to get married after the next three months. Why will she elope with another man after all the money I spent...

I felt the world around me stop for a minute. Everyone was waiting for me to speak up but my throat went dry, I could hardly feel saliva in my mouth. The sitting room was pin-drop silent, I could hear the clock ticking. Doctor Fumi tossed the diary to my side and crossed her arms standing right in front of me. I bent my head in regret as I stared at her shoes, my old red diary on my thighs. I felt so messed up. My daughters were sensitive enough to excuse us after they exchanged questioning glances. Then I opened the diary, feeling every part of the pages soaked with depressing thoughts of my early days. My late father gifted the diary to me on the day before he passed on. He instructed that I write positive things only but I did not keep to his wishes. As soon as my last marriage turned sour, it became a book of my darkest secrets and deep bad thoughts.  “I also read it. How could you, Tinu?” She said, “I thought you loved your son! I thought you loved Dayo!”. She was not 'scoldin...

The day I turned 45 was the worst day of my life. I wish things never turned the way it did.  My birthday was all festive at first. There was plenty jollof rice and pepper snail, my robust friends on laces and matching gele. King Sunny Ades' life performance with melodies that seep into one's brain got me all flirty on the dance floor with my makeup covered in happy sweat.  The typical owambe (party) I planned in my head weeks earlier. Down the line, I knew something was not right. Every minute that passed, I would push my way through the crowd to use the restroom. On my way back, I'd peep through the keyhole to my son's room begging him to open up. He never did. He stayed there all day. Let me bring you up the speed. My son, Dayo's birth was quite different from the norm. Unlike other newborns, he smiled at his first contact with the new environment. He didn't cry. When I saw he had crossed eyes and a weird smile, I felt my heartbreak. I knew he was deformed in...

  Have you been at that part of your life when nothing ever seems to be making sense?  I have been there several times,  wallowing in self pity,  self doubt,  sadness,  pain and everything you can think of.   You know that moment you start doubting all these motivational quotes flying about ? I even started doubting if there is need for hardwork and if prayer really works.  Most times I just look at myself and I feel like I don't have any talents or maybe I am just not meant for greatness.  Other times I just want to lie in bed and do nothing whilst allowing the whole feeling to consume me. How did I come out of it?  I got to know that the universe is not for weak people.  The more I stayed back doing nothing but feeling sad,  so many persons were rising above status quo. People becoming successful.  Then I had to make a mental reevaluation,  where I came to the conclusion that it is just my mind playing tricks w...

More than seventy percent of the world's population have not come across the word 'unconscious repressed memories'. Fifty percent of them might have experience it but are ignorant of the fact that what they have experienced is called unconscious repressed memories. For both parties, this piece of information will help a lot. This is a sensitive psychological topic and it's awareness is very necessary because someone close to you might be a victim. Before you can address unconscious repressed memories, you have to acquire a basic knowledge of it. Repressed memories can be either conscious or unconscious or maybe subconscious. The last two being that the person does not have full awareness of what he or she is doing. According to the article of Lawrence Patihis and her colleagues from the department of psychology and human behaviour, University of California, repressed memories can be said to be something, so shocking that the mind grabs hold of the memory and pushes it u...

 Friendships are life assets and are so important. It is not always okay to be alone. We all need a little help sometimes that only humans can offer. Having a friend or best friend in your life is one of the best feelings ever. Great friendship validates your existence and boosts self-esteem. I'll explain better on this as you read on. Before I proceed, I'll like to give my say in an interview I watched. This celebrity was asked about how she achieved so much in life with all the success, she responded that it was all her doings. All she needed was God and herself, no friends. She concluded that she is self-made. I thought about her response and didn't entirely agree with it because it's not all about that. Now, this is not to negate her response but to correct a myth — No one is self-made. In this context, I'm facing a real-life setting, the physical world. Of course, God helped her, but he is not human. Humans need fellow humans to survive and exist. It's a si...