How To Quit Comparing Yourself With Others

Comparison, they say, is the thief of joy. You've most likely heard that before. How many times since you heard, did you compare yourself to a friend, colleague or even foe?

Shannon L. Alder once said , "Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident." Comparison has to give way if you want your worth shown.

No one alive is new to the concept of comparison. it's so ingrained in society that from socialization, you learn to focus on the strengths of others and put your achievement by their side to compare. Comparisons can also be good points of improvements. 

When do we cross the lines?

When it robs us of our unique nature.

For instance, in your field, you would have someone always better than you no matter what you do. It would feel like this person is always ahead. It could be so annoying but what makes the difference is how you choose to respond to it.

I'm no guru in the non-comparison world, but here are 4 ways to help you in the slippery slope of comparison.

• Be genuinely happy for others.

When you look at the successes of others, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? This is important because when you comprehend that there's a time and season for each person, you would be genuinely happy for others. You would be sure to share in the joy of others. That way you won't have time to be comparing, rather you'll be looking forward to your own celebration.

• Ask questions and develop yourself. 

What can I learn from this person? What did he/she do? When you ask questions, you'll find answers and be inspired on your journey. Ask for feedback. If it’s in your workplace, at school or in an organization. When you ask questions or do your research, you develop yourself and that way, comparison is far from  you. You know that you’re only competing with your former self to get better.

• Seek opportunities to Collaborate.

Instead of "beefing" why not collaborate? Two are indeed better than one. I learned this during a session on branding. I remember how the speaker said that a better alternative to comparing yourself with others, especially in your field, is to collaborate. They may have invested in themselves and worked hard to the point you now see, so why not work with them? That way you learn from them . When you are collaborating, there's no time for comparison.

• Unplug.

My favorite part of them all- unplug. For me, my biggest source of comparison at this season in my life is content creation. Instagram is a visual world and nothing sends comparison signals faster to my brain than pictures and settings. It's a love hate relationship. One thing that has helped me in that space is unplugging. Once in a while, I take a breather from there. When you don't let your mind water those seeds, comparison is less likely to sprout.

Take a break, unplug and focus your strengths on the things around instead of someone else. That helps with the nuisance of comparison.

 

SUMMARY

Comparison is common to everyone but we learn to focus on our plate instead of someone else's. This can be done by :

1. Being genuinely happy for and with others.

2.Developing yourself

3. Collaborating

4. Unplugging from triggers

It's not easy to do so, but these reminders would serve as checks as you navigate your journey of self-development.